Had to go to the ER again and now back home. Same ole crap as always. pouts
Category: Today
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SIMS have been paid… huzzah! At least for another week, thanks to our lovely bennefactor-ess. So one less thing to worry about. I had the chance to hang out with her for 2 hours last evening where I was given ALL THE TEA on the deflowering! I very proud of her and Mister Man that has become a regular for her. Awe!!!
The other lady in our life here has the house inspector today so she had been working really hard to be ready for that. She is a packing fiend! Though with no more allowance and the store not up and running and all three of us having stuff out there to be bought, not sure how we can help at all, so that is a bummer.
Van lost halfof her SIM when she tried to parcel it off after everything was decorated and she almost rage quit, dont blame her. Been there! When she went to see how much time she had left, she saw a full sim rental box next to hers that was a 30k SIM for 1k less a week. So no brainer there, she traded. haha I mean if you have to rebuild any way… get a deal! She only had a 20k sim to start off with PLUS 1k cheaper? Say less.
The Source still hasnt replied to me. Its been a month.
***** /////**** WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE BELOW *****/////*****
That laszy mother fucking twat nugget had absolutely zero give a fuck for the god damned system. Just soaking up the money. I mean.. why not? They keep fucking paying him every single month to do NOTHING for them. He has is kush. Im all kinds of rageface over here, yo. I cant play it thier way anymore. I cant keep quiet as they go on and on in those fucking AC meetings. I cant just keep status quo in the hopes that I will get the basic need taken care of. You dont want to answer me? Not a prob. They want to act like nothing has changed with my return? No, Fuck you AND the horse you rode in on. Your fucking nightmare is back. Now to just figure out where to begin, roll up my sleeves, and dig in.
Lets de mantle a system, or at least make a huge mark. It’s gonna de mantle itself.
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Remember that RP that we did because I had watched you pick your eyes in the…. eye store. lol Then aftah aftah I sent you want was going through my mind and… yum occured?
nods
I made a song with that in mind. I hope that you like it.
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Seven days.
One hundred sixty-eight hours.
More cups of coffee than I should probably admit.
I DONT LIKE IT
I have been lucky enough to talk to you here and there the last couple of days and that has ment the world to me. But you arent HERE. I dont get that morning call, the walking the dogs call, the deliveries call, and the wee hours of the morning call. You spoiled me and now I pout on the sidelines looking at the date as if one of these times it will simply zooom forward and suddenly you will be here.
Well it hasnt yet. And I have issues with that.
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Not impossible in the heartbreaking sense.
Impossible in the wonderful, daydreaming kind of way.
I wondered…
If someone appeared at my door and said,
“You may borrow one hour with your husband.”
What would I choose?
At first I thought the answer would be easy.
I’d choose a candlelit dinner.
Or dancing.
Or watching the sunset together.
Something unforgettable.
But the longer I sat with the question…
The more I realized I wouldn’t choose any of those things.
I’d choose a Tuesday.
A wonderfully, beautifully ordinary Tuesday.
I’d make coffee.
You’d probably tease me before I’d had enough caffeine to defend myself.
I’d roll my eyes and pretend to be offended.
You’d grin because you know exactly how fake that look is.
I’d wander into the kitchen while you talked about your day.
You’d catch me staring at you.
I’d insist I wasn’t.
You’d never believe me.
And you’d be right.
Because I don’t think I’ll ever stop looking at you the way I do now.
There is still something magical about watching you exist.
Not because you’re trying to impress anyone.
But because you’re simply being yourself.
Have you ever noticed how people change when they’re with someone they truly trust?
Their shoulders relax.
Their smile comes easier.
Their laugh gets louder.
Their guard quietly disappears.
That’s what you’ve become for me.
You are the place where I can finally exhale.
There are very few people in this world who make another soul feel completely safe.
You do.
Without even trying.
That is one of the greatest gifts you’ve ever given me.
I wonder if anyone has ever told you how comforting your presence is.
Not your words.
Not your advice.
Just…
You.
There are people who fill a room with noise.
You fill one with peace.
I don’t know if you understand how rare that is.
Sometimes I think about the life we haven’t lived yet.
The years ahead of us.
The routines we’ll build.
The traditions we’ll accidentally create because one of us started doing something and the other smiled and joined in.
I wonder which chair you’ll always sit in.
I wonder what silly phrases we’ll repeat until they become part of our language.
I wonder if we’ll still argue over what to watch when we’re old.
I secretly hope we do.
Because those little things are proof that life kept happening.
That we kept choosing each other.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Before you, I thought happiness arrived in milestones.
Now I know happiness sneaks into little moments.
A hand reaching for mine.
A smile from across the room.
A random text in the middle of the day.
A forehead kiss.
A sleepy “good morning.”
A whispered “goodnight.”
A hundred tiny moments that, stitched together, become a lifetime.
That lifetime is what I want.
Not because every day will be easy.
Because every day will be ours.
If I really had one borrowed hour today…
I don’t think I’d spend much of it talking.
I’d spend it memorizing.
The warmth of your hand.
The sound of your heartbeat when I lay my head against your chest.
The way your eyes soften when you smile at me.
The tiny lines at the corners of your eyes that only appear when you’re genuinely happy.
I’d memorize them because someday we’ll be eighty.
And I want to remember that I loved every version of the man sitting in front of me.
Not just the young one.
Not just today’s version.
All of them.
I have loved you in every season I’ve been given.
And if life is kind…
I’ll spend the rest of it discovering new reasons why.
Until then…
I’ll settle for this.
Closing my eyes.
Imagining your arms around me.
And smiling because somewhere out there…
My favorite person is carrying my heart with him.
Take good care of it.
Trinity
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My dearest Super,
Today I learned something.
You can leave a room…
And somehow still be everywhere inside it.
I wasn’t expecting that.
I thought I would simply miss you.
I didn’t realize I would keep finding you.
You’re in the quiet.
You’re in the laughter.
You’re even in the pauses.
Especially the pauses.
You know what I miss the most today?
Not your voice.
Not your hugs.
Not even your kisses.
I miss the way we exist together.
I miss the easy rhythm we’ve built without ever trying.
The little conversations that start with absolutely nothing.
The comfortable silence that somehow says everything.
The way we can be doing completely different things and still feel connected simply because we’re sharing the same space.
That kind of closeness isn’t loud.
It doesn’t demand attention.
It simply wraps itself around two people until one day they realize…
“This is what home feels like.”
Come home soon, my love.
Your place is still here.
Just as you left it.
Only now…
It’s waiting for you.
Trinity
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My Favorite Habit
Today I caught myself doing something that made me laugh.
I reached for my phone.
Not because it rang. Not because it buzzed.
I reached for it because I wanted to tell you something.
It wasn’t important. It wasn’t life-changing.
I smiled, because somewhere along the way you became the first person I want to tell everything to.
The funny things. The frustrating things. The wonderful things.
The wonderfully ridiculous things. You have become my favorite habit.
Not in the way habits become routine. In the way breathing becomes routine.
Necessary. Comforting.
I wonder if you know how many times your name quietly crosses my mind in a single day.
When I hear a song that had seenon your playlist.
When something makes me laugh so hard my first instinct is to think, “I can’t wait to tell Super.”
You’ve become woven into my thoughts so naturally that I don’t even notice it anymore.
Until you’re gone.
Then suddenly every one of those little moments stands up and waves at me.
“He’s usually here for this.”
That’s the thing about love no one warns you about.
It doesn’t just change your heart.
It changes your instincts.
It changes where your joy wants to go.
Mine always runs toward you.
I know I can tell you the beautiful parts of me…
And the messy ones and I dont have to pretend, like that app where you listened to the yummiest things with me.
Laughing until we can’t breathe over something that would make absolutely no sense to anyone else.
Sitting together in comfortable silence and somehow still feeling like we’ve had the best conversation of the day.
That’s what you’ve given me. A love that doesn’t ask me to perform.
Only to be. And somehow…
Being loved by you has made me want to become an even better version of myself.
Not because you expect it. Because you inspire it.
Thank you for being the man I still get excited to talk to.
The man I still flirt with.
The man I still look at and think, “How did I get so lucky?”
Every sunrise means one fewer sunrise until I see you again.
Every night that passes is another page turning toward home.
So today…
If you find yourself smiling for no obvious reason…
Maybe it’s because somewhere, at that exact moment…
I am smiling too.
Trinity
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Before You Turn the First Page
My love,
If you’re reading this…
Then you’ve already left.
I imagine you’re probably somewhere between places.
Maybe you’re waiting at a gastation.
Maybe you’re laying down after a long day.
Maybe you’re sitting in a truck seat looking at this web page and smiling because you already know I’m incapable of doing anything halfway when it comes to loving you.
You’re right.
I am.
I thought about what I could possibly give you while you were gone.
A photograph?
You’ll already have those.
A hoodie sprayed with my perfume?
Tempting.
A playlist?
Already made.
But none of those could do what I wanted them to do.
None of them could sit beside you when I couldn’t.
None of them could whisper, “I love you,” when you needed to hear it.
You once changed my understanding of what home meant.
I used to think home was walls.
An address.
A place.
Then you happened.
Now home sounds like your laugh.
It feels like your hand finding mine.
It looks like your smile when you catch me staring at you.
It smells like your hoodie hanging over the back of a chair.
It feels like your arms wrapping around me after a day that asked too much.
Home became a person.
You.
And while you’re away…
I’m going to build a little home for you inside these pages.
Somewhere you can come whenever you miss me.
Somewhere my heart can reach yours without asking permission from distance.
There is one thing I hope you never forget while you’re reading this.
Not once.
Not on the hardest day.
Not when you’re tired.
Not when you’re lonely.
Not even for a second.
You are loved in a way that changes me.
You are appreciated in ways I probably don’t say often enough.
You are admired not only for what you do, but for the man you are when no one else is watching.
I see your kindness.
I see your strength.
I see your patience.
I see the gentle way you love.
I see the quiet sacrifices you make that most people will never notice.
I see you.
And every day you’re gone, I want to remind you that being seen is one of the greatest gifts two people can give each other.
So…
Welcome to twenty-four days of us.
Twenty-four mornings.
Twenty-four sunsets.
Twenty-four opportunities for me to love you out loud.
Read slowly.
Smile often.
Come home safely.
I’ll be here.
Waiting…
With a heart that has never once regretted choosing yours.
Forever your wife,
Trinity
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Day One
My dearest Super,
This morning was strange.
Not because anything was wrong.
Nothing had changed.
The coffee still brewed.
The birds still argued outside the window.
The sunlight still slipped through the curtains exactly the way it always does.
The world kept moving as though it hadn’t noticed you were gone.
But I noticed.
Oh… I noticed.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t dramatic.
It was quieter than that.
It was reaching for my phone before my eyes were fully open because somewhere between dreaming and waking, my heart had already gone looking for you.
It was smiling when I saw your picture.
It was whispering, “Good morning, handsome,” before realizing there would be no sleepy smile waiting on the other side of the bed.
Funny, isn’t it?
How one person can leave for a little while and somehow take the gravity of an entire room with them.
It isn’t measured by grand gestures.
It’s measured by instinct.
The instinct to turn and tell you something funny.
The instinct to reach for your hand while watching a movie.
The instinct to save the best part of my day because I can’t wait to tell you about it.
Love sneaks into the ordinary until the ordinary becomes sacred.
That’s what you’ve done to my life.
You have taken all the little moments—the grocery lists, the morning coffee, the silly conversations, the comfortable silence—and somehow transformed them into the places where happiness lives.
People think soulmates are recognized during fireworks.
I think they’re recognized in Tuesday afternoons.
They’re recognized in the comfort of simply existing beside one another.
They’re recognized in the peace that settles over your heart when one particular voice says your name.
You are that peace for me.
You are the place my thoughts run to when something wonderful happens.
You’re the one I want to celebrate with.
The one I want to lean on.
The one whose opinion matters because your heart has become intertwined with mine.
Before you, I thought love was supposed to feel exciting all the time.
Now I know better.
Love feels like coming home.
It feels like safety.
Like laughter echoing through another room.
Like falling asleep knowing tomorrow gets to begin beside your favorite person.
And now…
For a little while…
Tomorrow begins differently.
But here’s the beautiful part.
Distance changes geography.
It doesn’t change belonging.
You still belong in every dream I dream.
You still occupy the quiet spaces between my thoughts.
You still make me smile when something reminds me of you.
You still make me blush when your name appears on my phone.
You’re still the man who makes forever sound too short.
Twenty-four days.
That’s all.
Not forever.
Just enough time for me to remind you—every single day—how extraordinary it feels to be loved by you.
So today…
I don’t want you worrying about me.
I don’t want you feeling guilty because we’re apart.
I want you to carry one simple truth with you wherever today takes you.
There is a woman who is unbelievably proud to be your wife.
A woman who still gets butterflies.
Who still smiles at your photos.
Who still catches herself laughing because she remembered something you said three weeks ago.
Who still cannot believe she gets to love a man like you.
You have given me a thousand reasons to smile.
So while you’re away…
I’ll keep collecting them.
One sunrise at a time.
Until the morning I don’t have to imagine kissing you good morning anymore.
I’ll simply do it.
And when that day comes…
Don’t expect me to let go anytime soon.
You’ve been warned.
Come back to me safely.
Come back with stories.
Come back with that smile that somehow still makes my knees weak.
Come back knowing that every mile between us has only reminded me of something I already knew.
If I had to choose again…
Out of everyone in this world…
Through every lifetime…
Across every possibility…
I would still find my way back to you.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Sleep well tonight, my handsome husband.
And if, for even a moment, you begin to wonder whether someone is thinking about you…
Stop wondering.
The answer is yes.
Always yes.
Always me.
Forever your wife,
Trinity
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