My Favorite Habit

Today I caught myself doing something that made me laugh.

I reached for my phone.

Not because it rang. Not because it buzzed.

I reached for it because I wanted to tell you something.

It wasn’t important. It wasn’t life-changing.

I smiled, because somewhere along the way you became the first person I want to tell everything to.

The funny things. The frustrating things. The wonderful things.

The wonderfully ridiculous things. You have become my favorite habit.

Not in the way habits become routine. In the way breathing becomes routine.

Necessary. Comforting.

I wonder if you know how many times your name quietly crosses my mind in a single day.

When I hear a song that had seenon your playlist.

When something makes me laugh so hard my first instinct is to think, “I can’t wait to tell Super.”

You’ve become woven into my thoughts so naturally that I don’t even notice it anymore.

Until you’re gone.

Then suddenly every one of those little moments stands up and waves at me.

“He’s usually here for this.”

That’s the thing about love no one warns you about.

It doesn’t just change your heart.

It changes your instincts.

It changes where your joy wants to go.

Mine always runs toward you.

I know I can tell you the beautiful parts of me…

And the messy ones and I dont have to pretend, like that app where you listened to the yummiest things with me.

Laughing until we can’t breathe over something that would make absolutely no sense to anyone else.

Sitting together in comfortable silence and somehow still feeling like we’ve had the best conversation of the day.

That’s what you’ve given me. A love that doesn’t ask me to perform.

Only to be. And somehow…

Being loved by you has made me want to become an even better version of myself.

Not because you expect it. Because you inspire it.

Thank you for being the man I still get excited to talk to.

The man I still flirt with.

The man I still look at and think, “How did I get so lucky?”

Every sunrise means one fewer sunrise until I see you again.

Every night that passes is another page turning toward home.

So today…

If you find yourself smiling for no obvious reason…

Maybe it’s because somewhere, at that exact moment…

I am smiling too.

Trinity